The much-ballyhooed, star-studded version of Agatha Christie’s classic is out.
What’s Good:
The cinematography is gorgeous. The use of light—interior and exterior—is stunning. So are the scenery and that glorious train. Sigh. We should all travel in such style.
Johnny Depp is so good as Ratchett, a slimy “exporter” of dubious goods, you forget he’s Johnny Depp. Josh Gad also has some nice moments as Ratchett’s beleaguered assistant. Michelle Pfeiffer is a little over the top, but so is her desperate, man-hungry character.
And hello: the story. Does anybody not know how this one ends? It doesn’t matter; the fun is in the journey, not the destination.
What’s Not So Good:
I don’t know who Kenneth Branagh thinks he’s playing, but he’s not Poirot. At least, he’s not any Poirot I know. He’s too tall, too gloomy, and much too athletic. It’s been a while since I read the original but I don’t recall Agatha Christie having her elderly, sedentary sleuth race after a suspect wielding his walking stick as a weapon. I’m not buying that bit with the poo on the shoe, either. Non. Non, mon ami, Poirot this is not he. Not even with that monumental double-decker moustache – which, btw, this “Poirot” never seems to notice is on his face. There’s no thoughtful smoothing of the facial hairs while the “leetle grey cells” are at work. He doesn’t talk about his little grey cells, either; another character has to bring them up. He does talk to the photo of his former girlfriend (what?) but whatever. If you don’t know Poirot, you may be fine with this version but I found it distracting.
As director, Branagh focuses so much on his own character that the rest of the star-studded cast barely has a chance to make an impact. It’s always tricky when there are so many people to follow, but one couple were such nonstarters we couldn’t even remember who they were supposed to be. And bless them, several seemed miscast. I’ll happily watch Judi Dench do pretty much anything, but just between us this was more of a Maggie Smith role. Penélope Cruz seemed like an odd choice, too…but as noted, the supporting cast didn’t have the chance to do much.
Go or No Go:
If you’re a mystery fan, especially a fan of British mysteries, then yes. If somehow you don’t know this story, then absolutely yes. There’s no need to rush, though—I expect this one will be in the dollar theater soon and that’s about all I’d be willing to spend.
Rating: PG-13 for violence and thematic elements
Knowing your expertise on this story and characters, I appreciate your insight! I will probably see it anyway … just because. 🙂