No So Good Eats

As the taping of the 10th anniversary show of Good Eats is tonight in Atlanta—and I am currently in my home in Texas—I am reluctantly forced to concede that I did not win the contest. I’m startled at the uncharacteristic lack of good taste on the part of the Food Network, but I can only assume the judge in question had his/her reasons. (However misguided they undoubtedly were.)

I’m not bitter. No really, I’m not. Although it would have been amazing to go meet Alton Brown and be part of this special occasion, life will go on. Having the time at home allowed me to do battle with the trumpet vine on my back fence (and the myriad buzzing bees that live in it), finally go grocery shopping, and spend 4 hours decorating a cake for a Sunday School birthday party tomorrow. I also prepared a most beautiful and delicious lemon rosemary roasted chicken dinner. I know—my social life is the stuff legends are made of. It’s been a good—if quiet—day. Some days are like that. And, to quote that noted philosopher, Scarlett O’Hara, “Tomorrow is another day.”

My fan club

For now, I have my own little sock puppet fan club to cheer me on as I hose down the kitchen. (How does buttercream frosting manage to cover every surface?) I don’t think I’ll tell them we didn’t win. When sock puppets go bad . . . it’s not good.

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Dreaming of Good Eats

Now I'm worried...

What do sock puppets have to do with cooking, you ask? Since you had to ask, I gather you are not an aficionado of Alton Brown’s Food Network Show, Good Eats. (Those of you who recognized my little sock friends as yeast right off can skip the next paragraph.)

Good Eats is not your average cooking show. Yes, the host (the aforementioned Alton Brown) does cook. He also explains the science of cooking in a fun and creative way, utilizing such visual aids as a giant tongue, a male crew member dressed as a little Swiss girl (pigtails and all—it’s pretty scary), and the occasional sock puppet. In a show about using yeast, Alton explained that activated yeast molecules produce gas. To highlight this, he was surrounded by little sock friends burping their knitted heads off. Maybe you just had to be there…but every time I make bread or any baked good that calls for yeast, I think of those burping sock puppets. (Here, you can see it for yourself. But promise to come back, OK?)

It’s true I am a huge fan of Alton’s but I didn’t spend the better part of a week—off and on—designing and creating sock puppets just for fun. It’s part of my cunning plan to win a Food Network contest and attend the 10th Anniversary taping of Good Eats, plus attend the VIP after party and actually be in the presence of the great man himself. They’re choosing 6 winners, so I guess it won’t hurt to tell you to look here for contest rules and regs. The deadline is August 7, so you’d better hurry.

I would mention how much I want to win this contest, but you’d get bored reading all that “really, really, really, really…” so just think back to what it was like being a 17-year-old waiting for your crush to ask you to prom and you’ll get a feel for my emotional state. Not that I actually did that; my crush at 17 was a grown-up musician who didn’t live in my town and wasn’t going to my prom regardless…but I digress.

Back to the contest: I realize my odds of winning are slim, despite the charms of my googley-eyed supporting cast. There was a time I wouldn’t even have entered, assuming that it wasn’t worth the trouble, that the disappointment would be too great, that I was doomed to fail . . . but now I think “So what?” So what if I don’t get a trip to Atlanta, so what if I don’t get to meet my food “idol”, so what if I just look silly on the Food Network Web site for all the world to see? Sometimes you just have to go for it. It cost me about $6 and several hours’ work. It might get me nothing; it might get me the trip of a lifetime. I’ll let you know.

If nothing else, I now have a family of sock puppets to do something with. I’m thinking costumes for Halloween, caroler outfits for Christmas, bunny ears for Easter . . . this may turn into a whole new trend in seasonal decorating!

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